...I almost lost my family because of my drivenness to find the truth. Who wants to be around a truth fanatic 24/7? Today my wife and daughter do not laugh good-naturedly when they tell folks what it was like to tiptoe through the living room when I was meditating like a madman at night. I'd like to say that I was lucky, and woke up in time to see what was happening and save the day, but the jury is still out, and will always be out! Things are fine right now, and I am no longer searching for anything, but I literally have no idea what might happen next. I have learned that the only way to live is with an open heart in the center of that empty not-knowingness.
I can tell you this: if twenty years ago someone had said to me, "You have the choice of either a happy life with loving relationships or the truth," I would have gone with the truth.
Meister Eckhart said something similar. He said, "If I had to choose between God and the truth, I would hold to the truth and let God go." That attitude and those words are what almost got him excommunicated.
Unless you've experienced that kind of truth-at-all-cost fanaticism, it is hard to imagine. I'm not saying it's anything to be desired; it's just an amazing fact of life for some people.
I can tell you this: if twenty years ago someone had said to me, "You have the choice of either a happy life with loving relationships or the truth," I would have gone with the truth.
Meister Eckhart said something similar. He said, "If I had to choose between God and the truth, I would hold to the truth and let God go." That attitude and those words are what almost got him excommunicated.
Unless you've experienced that kind of truth-at-all-cost fanaticism, it is hard to imagine. I'm not saying it's anything to be desired; it's just an amazing fact of life for some people.
