...are a particular kind of illusion that is prevalent on the pathless path to truth. Whether we are talking about big cosmic consciousness experiences (called "kensho" in Zen) or smaller and more frequent experiences of unity-consciousness (" being in the zone," transient periods of selflessness, etc.) these experiences are not happening to a person, even though they appear to be. This is why big CC experiences are such a pitfall; the person who has them usually goes in search for more of them. These things have been called "the mystic's joy." As noted before, these experiences range in intensity and duration from the mountain climber who "loses herself" in her climbing for a few hours to a meditator who has an explosive CC experience whose effect lasts for months. Usually people come back to "normal" and "normal" then feels mundane compared to the freedom and joy they experienced for a short while. Because selfhood is still intact, these people go off searching for how they can get back to the state of mind they now regard as heavenly compared to normal life.
After a huge CC experience in 1984 followed by a return to normalcy, I went on numerous silent retreats thinking and hoping that each retreat would lead to one final big experience that would destroy selfhood entirely. Over the following years various illusions collapsed, but there remained a "me" patiently waiting for "me" to get enlightened. Ha ha. This is very funny in retrospect! Every retreat and every strategy ended in failure. I finally realized that there was nothing I could do other than what I was already doing--shifting attention regularly away from thought to what could be seen or heard. I theorized that by interacting with the world in the same way as small children--through the body--eventually "I" would attain a permanent state of unity consciousness. As it turned out, this theory had some truth to it, but not in the way I imagined.
When the illusion of selfhood finally collapsed (after a week-long retreat spent focused on looking and listening), there was considerable surprise because it was seen that all past thoughts about the matter had been misconceptions. There had never been a "me" who was separate from THIS. There had never been a "me" who had unity-conscious experiences. There is only THIS, and THIS is what I am. There is no other. In all the universe I am the only one. As the Beatles put it in one of their songs, "I am you, and you are me, and we are all in this together." Ha ha ha. Who could imagine such a thing?
Bottom line? I am not recommending triggering states of non-duality. I am pointing to what is always and only non-dual--to what all apparently-transient states occur within. Hopefully no one will get attached to these words and try to imagine what they mean. Hopefully they will look where the words are pointing.
After a huge CC experience in 1984 followed by a return to normalcy, I went on numerous silent retreats thinking and hoping that each retreat would lead to one final big experience that would destroy selfhood entirely. Over the following years various illusions collapsed, but there remained a "me" patiently waiting for "me" to get enlightened. Ha ha. This is very funny in retrospect! Every retreat and every strategy ended in failure. I finally realized that there was nothing I could do other than what I was already doing--shifting attention regularly away from thought to what could be seen or heard. I theorized that by interacting with the world in the same way as small children--through the body--eventually "I" would attain a permanent state of unity consciousness. As it turned out, this theory had some truth to it, but not in the way I imagined.
When the illusion of selfhood finally collapsed (after a week-long retreat spent focused on looking and listening), there was considerable surprise because it was seen that all past thoughts about the matter had been misconceptions. There had never been a "me" who was separate from THIS. There had never been a "me" who had unity-conscious experiences. There is only THIS, and THIS is what I am. There is no other. In all the universe I am the only one. As the Beatles put it in one of their songs, "I am you, and you are me, and we are all in this together." Ha ha ha. Who could imagine such a thing?
Bottom line? I am not recommending triggering states of non-duality. I am pointing to what is always and only non-dual--to what all apparently-transient states occur within. Hopefully no one will get attached to these words and try to imagine what they mean. Hopefully they will look where the words are pointing.
