...appears to have had a series of realizations that various thoughts were not true. I don't remember reading her account of when/if she realized that BK, as a separate entity, was a fiction.
Most people on this path initially have an intellectual realization that selfhood is a fiction. The further they go the more obvious this becomes, but the sense of selfhood remains even though the person is 100% intellectually certain that it is an illusion. I'm not saying that the illusion needs to go, but most sages I've read about had a specific moment when the illusion totally collapsed. Adya sitting in the little church, Dogen hearing a statement made to someone sitting next to him, etc. Suddenly, the whole house of cards collapses, and THIS is all that remains. Only then does it become obvious that THIS is all there is and no separate entity ever existed. Can it happen in some other way? Maybe.
Most people on this path initially have an intellectual realization that selfhood is a fiction. The further they go the more obvious this becomes, but the sense of selfhood remains even though the person is 100% intellectually certain that it is an illusion. I'm not saying that the illusion needs to go, but most sages I've read about had a specific moment when the illusion totally collapsed. Adya sitting in the little church, Dogen hearing a statement made to someone sitting next to him, etc. Suddenly, the whole house of cards collapses, and THIS is all that remains. Only then does it become obvious that THIS is all there is and no separate entity ever existed. Can it happen in some other way? Maybe.
