...not the other way around. Mind is always the last to know.
In two days I will deliver a eulogy at my mother's "fun-eral." Among other things I want to tell people (without freaking them out--a real challenge) that my mother is still present, and that I still talk to her, and that nothing has changed. Because there will be many fundamentalist Christians present, I know that many people will think, "He means that she is in our hearts." That is true, but that is not what I mean. Other people will think, "He means that she is in our memories." That, too, is true, but that is not what I mean. Still other people will think, "He means that she is in heaven looking at us." That is true, but it is not what I mean. I mean that she is literally here. A few people will understand.
Yesterday I walked up and down a mountain close to my home saying to my mother repeatedly through tears, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please forgive me." She understood.
I wonder how many other people understand?
I once read the spiritual autobiography of a Japanese woman. She had incredibly kind, patient, understanding parents who loved her unconditionally. She was a wild child and grew up to be a wild woman (sort of like a hippie of the 1960's)and got into all kinds of trouble, but her parents never criticized her or judged her in any way. They simply loved her. She ignored her parents and followed her own self-centered path. Eventually her parents died. Many years later, the woman became enlightened. She said, "Only then could I fully appreciate their love for me. I went to the place where they were buried, bowed low over their graves, and said,'Forgive me for not telling you sooner how much I love you.' My parents said, 'We understand.' She wrote, "Many people think that there is time, space, life, and death, but they are asleep."
As Wu-men put it:
The Great Way has no gate;
there are a thousand paths to it.
If you pass through the barrier,
you walk the universe alone.
(translated by Stephen Mitchell)
When I said, "I'm sorry," I was saying, in effect, "I'm sorry that everything had to be the way it was." I'm not saying that anything should have been otherwise; I was responding to what I call "the pathos of life." When I said. "I'm sorry," I was saying it to Myself because I am the only one here. This is how the body/mind responded to the complex set of events that were associated with my mother's death/My death/My life/My being. This can be understood with the mind, but only if there is a certain underlying realization.
In two days I will deliver a eulogy at my mother's "fun-eral." Among other things I want to tell people (without freaking them out--a real challenge) that my mother is still present, and that I still talk to her, and that nothing has changed. Because there will be many fundamentalist Christians present, I know that many people will think, "He means that she is in our hearts." That is true, but that is not what I mean. Other people will think, "He means that she is in our memories." That, too, is true, but that is not what I mean. Still other people will think, "He means that she is in heaven looking at us." That is true, but it is not what I mean. I mean that she is literally here. A few people will understand.
Yesterday I walked up and down a mountain close to my home saying to my mother repeatedly through tears, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please forgive me." She understood.
I wonder how many other people understand?
I once read the spiritual autobiography of a Japanese woman. She had incredibly kind, patient, understanding parents who loved her unconditionally. She was a wild child and grew up to be a wild woman (sort of like a hippie of the 1960's)and got into all kinds of trouble, but her parents never criticized her or judged her in any way. They simply loved her. She ignored her parents and followed her own self-centered path. Eventually her parents died. Many years later, the woman became enlightened. She said, "Only then could I fully appreciate their love for me. I went to the place where they were buried, bowed low over their graves, and said,'Forgive me for not telling you sooner how much I love you.' My parents said, 'We understand.' She wrote, "Many people think that there is time, space, life, and death, but they are asleep."
As Wu-men put it:
The Great Way has no gate;
there are a thousand paths to it.
If you pass through the barrier,
you walk the universe alone.
(translated by Stephen Mitchell)
When I said, "I'm sorry," I was saying, in effect, "I'm sorry that everything had to be the way it was." I'm not saying that anything should have been otherwise; I was responding to what I call "the pathos of life." When I said. "I'm sorry," I was saying it to Myself because I am the only one here. This is how the body/mind responded to the complex set of events that were associated with my mother's death/My death/My life/My being. This can be understood with the mind, but only if there is a certain underlying realization.
